How to Get Motivated When You Feel Like Giving Up

You had this really great idea. You started on your project with great gusto but as time passes you start to feel deflated.

You just are not getting the results you had been expecting. You are left feeling frustrated, disappointed and flat – your dream project is just not gaining traction and your mindset is negative.

Reading about people who have ‘made it’ accentuates your own lack of progress even further.

You can’t help but wonder if you have been duped by all that smart marketing, the glowing success stories of others and your own misplaced optimism and enthusiasm.

Your well-meaning family and friends had questioned you right from the start. What? Leave your full-time job? Embark on a writing career NOW? Start an internet-based business? (Or whatever other phrase fits here for you). Are you crazy?

Now their voices have become even louder in your head.

You would so love to be one of the success stories. The one who finally made it but right now have lost all your mojo and nothing to show for your courageous decision.

Well – here is the good news: Continue reading

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Leadership: How to Influence More Effectively

Last week, a coachee who had been described as a bright spark and full of potential by her manager, commented at how disappointed she was in not getting the support of a key stakeholder for a new initiative.

In her view, it was a project full of potential – the benefits of which she thought would have been obvious to him.

She said she was surprised at how things turned out because they had worked together and he knew the issues they were facing in the industry. “I expected him to just get it,” but clearly this was not the case.

Can you see what may be wrong here?

Continue reading

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Are You Going through a Major Life Transition?

Life changes can catch us by surprise.

Are you feeling a tad restless, frustrated, anxious or down and depressed?

It is quite likely that you are going through a life transition but perhaps haven’t recognized the fullness of it.

Like it or not, our lives is a series of change and transitions.

Recognising and understanding the nature of such transitions can help reduce some of the angst and resource us to adapt faster and take positive action as we step into the changed or new future.

Here are some signs that you may be going through a major life transition:

Continue reading

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Leadership: How do You Respond to Constructive Feedback?

Feedback is the breakfast of Champions” Ken Blanchard

Can you recall the last time you received some constructive feedback whether at work or in your personal life…….how did you react to it?

Let us face it – receiving feedback, especially that which is developmental and in the ‘needing some work category’, isn’t always easy.

No matter how well intended it is, we don’t always embrace negative/ constructive feedback as well as we do positive feedback.

With feedback, which is less than glowing, the brain emotional center gets triggered leaving us in a reactive, threatened and unresourced state.

And yet feedback remains a powerful source of both our personal and professional learning.

Over the years I have seen people react in all sorts of ways to feedback – whether solicited or unsolicited.

What is your default pattern?

Can you relate to any of these?  Think of the last time you received feedback, what did you do? Continue reading

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How do You Influence Others?

inspireBeing able to influence others is a core leadership competency. Whether this is engaging your people in upcoming organisational change, getting buy-in into the new vision or sustaining an engaged and dynamic culture, without being able to influence, a leader’s success can be thwarted even before initiatives get given a proper chance.

And this skill is not just limited to leaders. Influencing others is necessary for just about every job and role we can think of – team leader, customer support, sales and marketing, executive assistant, consultant, project manager, solopreneurs and many, many more.

Our home and family life is the other big arena of influence be it with our spouse, kids, wider family or friends.

So what are your thoughts and perspective on influencing others?

What works for you and what is your biggest challenge here?

Your feedback is valued

I am doing a super brief, two-question survey on this and would very much appreciate your response. This will take you 2-3 minutes. You can do this anonymously, if you wished.

Here is the link again.

Thanks for your follow and being connected with me here on LinkedIn and I very much look forward to hearing and sharing further posts with you.

Photo by Stuart Miles

P.S. If you have LOST YOUR MOJO – download this brief guide

P.P.S. If you are keen to DEVELOP YOUR LEADERSHIP – check out this brief guide

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What was the most surprising feedback you received last year?

man-with-laptopThe beginning of the new year naturally gets us reflecting. The good, the bad and the ugly.

Some years feel great and we want the momentum to continue; others tougher.

With the latter, we look forward to the New Year quietly acknowledging or sharing with friends perhaps that “the new year just has to be better!”

So how was last year for you?

And what was your review process for the year that has been?  Like many, did you do any of these?

List all your achievements?

Identify the goals you achieved and those you are still working on?

Sharpening your focus and setting some new goals?

Of course, there are no right or wrong ways of doing the above. The most important thing is that it works for you.  Continue reading

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Leadership: Seven Ways of Receiving Feedback that will Stall Your Career

no-entry“We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.” – Bill Gates

Receiving feedback is not always easy. It is also normal and natural to feel uncomfortable and even defensive at such times. However, constructive feedback is also a key way in which we develop and grow in our career, leadership and lives. And the consequences of not listening to and receiving feedback well can be costly. I have seen people whose careers derailed because of this one factor.

Here are 7 ways to not receive feedback

Do any of these seem familiar?

1)  Denial 

Denial is when we don’t even acknowledge that the feedback could have some truth in it. It is a total obliteration of the message and sometimes even the messenger.  Some responses include, “That is not true or accurate at all.” “This is absolute rubbish or I don’t agree with it at all.” Continue reading

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Leadership: How You can Make Your People Feel Valued and Get Better Results

engaged-teamOn Engaged employees

“When people are financially invested, they want a return. When people are emotionally invested, they want to contribute.”  – Simon Sinek

The ability to have an engaged work force is vital for the success of the entire organisation. Engaged, energised employees want to continue to do the best for their manager and company and will willingly go the extra mile to put in that discretionary effort.

As an executive coach with particular interest in the areas of emotional and spiritual intelligence, (EQ and SQ), I have been called in to help managers and leaders develop their self-awareness so they have greater awareness of the softer side of their leadership skill development.

In such scenarios, the sponsor such as the CEO or an another senior manager is interested not just in the coachee’s financial results but also their ability to inspire, engage and influence others and create a positive team culture. Not surprisingly some have also scored low on key measures in their leadership engagement surveys.

Only do this if you are genuine

As a manager and leader, if you are wondering what you could do, here are some simple, practical actions you could take. These are some of the actions my clients took to not only create positive shifts in their team culture but also significantly moving their engagement dial.

A cautionary note though – these are not just a “tick the box” activities as in you have done it once and you can now forget about it. I can tell you now – this will NOT work. Your people will see through this and you will lose credibility.

Your approach has to be sincere and authentic. Then over time with consistent effort you will see and hear the positive results!

Some practical actions to influence, inspire and engage

  1. Make an effort and get to know your people. There is more to them than the functional outputs they produce. Try and understand the needs and wants of your direct reports and colleagues ( needless to say, your boss) so you can cultivate deeper win-win relationships. You can find out about their interests, what they spend time doing when not at work, their family and any special circumstances here, their passion, family background – where they grew up, went to school, travel…..the sky is the limit.
  2. As a manager and leader, it is your duty to find out what the career aspirations and vision of your direct reports are so you can guide them appropriately. You are more likely to retain people who feel and know that they are supported in their path of working towards something.
  3. Acknowledge and praise your people for work well done. Again knowing your people well, you will have a better idea of what works for whom. For example, for one team member, some form of public acknowledgment may be important for another just making time to give them a special verbal thank you may be enough.
  4. Ask yourself this question – if there was a company restructuring and people had a choice about whether they work with you or elsewhere, how many of your team members do you think would truly elect to work for you? This can be a good indicator as to how well you are engaging with them or not.
  5. Show confidence in your people and stretch them. Give them “meaty” assignments and tell them that why you have done so – that you think that while there is an element of stretch, you are confident that they have the capability to deliver.
  6. Show your support by being available to discuss and talk through issues that may be of concern to them.
  7. MBAW – ( Management by Walking Around) If physically possible, allow some time during the week to “walk the floors” and have a more casual approach and chat with people. People really value this as opposed to seeing you only when you have to make a request.
  8. Be conscious of your leadership style. If you have a more pace-setting and autocratic style, remember there is also a down side. People may not feel as free to be creative, try on things and learn through their mistakes as they will not want to go outside the parameters of “how the boss likes to have things done.”
  9. Good delegation – you may be really competent technically but if you are not doing your team members any favours if you are doing it all by youself. Not only is this extra work for you but again you are missing out on a great opportunity to engage your people.
  10. Have a review of your team meetings. Are you always the chair? Can this be rotated? Are people free to put items on the agenda or is this controlled by you? Team meetings can be a good forum for engaging everyone.
  11. How often do you hold social functions as a team? Apart from the “away” days, do you get together casually say for Friday drinks? Do you celebrate successes after a win or even a major piece of work?
  12. Watch out for differential treatment of staff members. People very quickly feel it, if as a manager you are playing favourites – spending time and or discussing projects with the selected few on a consistent basis.
  13. Be conscious of your jokes and idiosyncratic humour. You could be alienating people without even realising it.
  14. Get to know people across units and departments. You will get a better view of how your part fits into the whole and forge good relationships.

In the words of Ken Blanchard and Scott Blanchard: “Connect the dots between individual roles and the goals of the organization. When people see that connection, they get a lot of energy out of work. They feel the importance, dignity, and meaning in their job.”

Your reflection

Which of these points really resonate for you? How about picking one and putting it into action this week….and then building on this?

If you would like more, check out my very actionable e-book

For further articles on careers, leadership, personal and professional development, sign here for your free monthly newsletter http://eepurl.com/FvR1r

Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

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Change: The Joys and Challenges of Life

 

cherry pathI was heading home after a busy Friday. Seeing the traffic ahead, I decided to turn right into a street I very rarely use.

And boy, was I glad I did!

Barely had I gone down a few hundred meters, when I got welcomed by these wonderful, bright pink, cherry trees, many in full bloom.

Just last week I had written a post on the unexpected little joys of life.

The bigger two trees in the corner were full of tuis (NZ bird) ‘tuiting’ away, absolutely lost in the moment and in ecstatic delight of the honey nectar. It is as if, amongst the branches and the blooms, they were having a music and rhythm festival all of their own!

One of the neighbours, similarly enthralled, along with the cat came outside and we started chatting.

We stood there, very much in the moment, admiring the magical, colourful bounty and the blessings of nature.

cherry treeSeasons and change

Here in New Zealand, our Spring season has just begun. It really is a delight seeing all the lovely magnolias, cherry blossoms, sweet-smelling Jasmine, daffodils, early cheers amongst others, appear, after the dull winter.

It got me thinking – we welcome the change of seasons but are we as welcoming of the inevitable changes in our lives? Continue reading

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Authentic Leadership: Have you had a defining moment?

reflection

reflection

Last week, as part of our authentic leadership programme, my colleague and I invited the participants to explore their leadership stories.

These are stories that have formed and informed us and make us the leaders that we are. The exploration can be grounding, revealing and empowering.

So what about you?

Is your story something you have given much thought to?

Or perhaps, like many others, you have put your story aside, perhaps seen it as a tad mundane and bearing little significance?

Or perhaps because of a few “bad” experiences, you have been seen these as best ‘forgotten.’

Our Crucibles

Many of us have had defining moments in our lives and these have consciously or unconsciously shaped our beliefs, values and attitudes. Continue reading

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