I would like to say a hearfelt thank you for being part of my business community – some of you for many years now.
I have appreciated our connection and your input and feedback from time to time.
This has in turn inspired me to keep writing.
I wish you a safe and wonderful festive season.
And may 2015 be YOUR BEST YEAR yet!
My very best wishes to you and your family.
Jasbindar
So many of us are busy running around doing a gazillion ‘important’ things but failing to give ourselves the most precious gift of time and perspective.
No one is arguing that the demands on us have increased hugely and that there are always more things than time itself.
Talking about her busy life of juggling work, family and friends and her own well-being, a client said, “I need to start making time to ‘mind the gap‘ and getting off automatic.”
She was recalling the “mind the gap” message in London’s underground train station.
She chose to use it as a visual and auditory reminder to pause before taking action.
So what is the gap I am referring to here?
Unlike the gap of the London Tubes, here we are referring to the psychological and physical space that allows us to:
Some examples of the undesirable outcomes of not “minding the gap” can be:
When we stop minding the gaps is when we end up making poorer decisions, limiting our choices and taking actions we regret later.
In the work setting, clients – managers and business owners have used the following strategies for “minding the gap.”
Here’s a reflective practice exercise that may help.
Why not “mind the gap” now to reflect on the strategies that wok for you….I look forward to hearing.
Jasbindar is a leadership coach, facilitator and speaker who helps executives harness the best of themselves and their teams.
Image – Courtesy of London Underground
Weak signals; powerful message.
A lot of the times the answers we are seeking are right there. But we don’t have the eyes to see, nor the ears to hear.
In fact, we override what our senses might be picking up and telling us because they often come in the form of weak or subtle signals.
These can be like fleeting whispers, a dis-ease, unarticulated perceptions, a gut feel that doesn’t go away and other below the surface ‘readings.’
Can you relate to any of these? What is a ‘weak signal’ for you currently which you might be ignoring?
I had a client who was feeling this strong intuitive pull towards academia. She found this odd as she was happy in her job and had no major plans to study or change her lifestyle. Continue reading
One of the hardest things in life can be confronting our own self. This is the sense of existential angst – regardless of who you are and what you have in life. Coming face to face with oneself in the mirror – that ultimately we have to live with ourselves, in ourselves.
This is not always a comfortable place for many and it is not surprising that many turn to more pleasurable outlets such as sex, alcohol, drugs, gambling -anything to escape from reality! But at the end of it all, we are still left staring ourselves in the mirror, possibly feeling even worse.
So is there a solution? Well yes. Continue reading
Leadership and integrity go hand in hand. When we see evidence of a lack of integrity whether it is in our political, business, community or family leaders, we feel dismayed, let down, disbelief and even outrage.
Given the current events involving our political leaders, I thought it timely to re-visit this topic.
What is integrity?
• Integrity is not a “turn-on and turn-off” switch; it’s about character and intent as demonstrated through our behaviours. One can say their behaviour was a slip-up or oversight, but when there is a consistent pattern of high-stakes, questionable behavior then something deeper is at play.
• Integrity embraces values of honesty, responsibility, accountability, loyalty and self-awareness. Continue reading
Most of us can be found to be guilty of not listening fully when someone is speaking to us.
Sometimes this happens even more so with our loved ones. The thinking that “we know them so well that we know what they are going to say” can prevail.
So we let our minds wonder or do a whole bunch of other non-listening things that can be quite disrespectful of the other!
Listening blocks and de-railers also come into play at work and other relationships too as after our core traits and behaviours generalize across situations.
I once had a GM say about this about his boss, “ I just wish he would stop being so distracted and not pick up his phone each time there is a new message when I am having a conversation with him!”
To his credit, the CEO did take this feedback on board after realizing the full implications of his behavior.
Some common listening blocks and de-railers include: Continue reading
Seeing the Grand Canyon last week was a truly overwhelming experience – no wonder it’s rated as one of the seven wonders of the world.
What an incredible vision! And to think that what we saw was a tiny fraction of a 446 river kms. long, 29 kms. wide and 1.6 kms. deep natural wonder.
It’s amazing to think that soft elements like water and wind have over a million years worked their daily magic to create this scene.
My sense of awe and wonder was reflected on the faces of many others around me, especially as the setting sun made for an even more spectacular experience, its light transforming the stratified and multi-hued sections.
Being in the presence of this, I began to think about us humans relative to the existence of nature and such magnificence. Continue reading
Resilience means having the ability to bounce back from many of life’s setbacks and traumas we must endure over the course of our lives.
Indeed, many successful people including those with great inventions have done exactly this. Think of Thomas Edison and the thousand ways he learnt of how not to invent the light bulb.
And yet, many of us give up after failure has delivered its blow to our dreams and aspirations. The big one that that did not take off or worse get away; the love of your life gone and or perhaps we are plagued by some health issue.
With failure, common feelings can include an acute sense of loss, hurt, grief, a wounding of the ego and over time, depression.
Does failure create a stress response?
“Look closely at the present you are constructing: it should look like the future you are dreaming.”
― Alice Walker
Every now and then we experience something – an event, a person or an encounter that is truly thought-provoking, uplifting, almost transcendental.
Alice Walker, the internationally acclaimed author, poet and winner of the Pulitzer prize for her novel, “The Color Purple” enriched us in her hour-long conversation at the booked out event at the Auckland Writers Festival. She covered much and her compelling message was multi-layered, rich and deep.
A standing ovation with moist eyes was the least we could do to express she had touched us with her words, mana and presence. The three Maori ladies who sang the waiata at the end made for a fitting tribute and a moving finish.
Alice Walker touched on many pertinent themes from personal to societal, from individual to the universal including compassion, the contribution each of us can make using our gifts and talents in the context that we find ourselves including all with which we share the planet, making the world a better place and how our consciousness affects our reality. Continue reading
Do you have a difficult conversation “waiting in the wings” to be had with a colleague, direct report, manager, spouse, friend and or family member? Are you finding that merely thinking about this is activating a whole host of feelings, thoughts and reactions?
Common reactions include, “ I don’t want to rock the boat”, “What if it comes out all wrong?”, and or “What if it affects our relationship for the worse?”
What reactions come up for you?
Deep down you know all is not well because you are thinking about the particular issue over and over again.
“Maybe I could say this”, or “Last time that happened, I should have said ….”
And while you may be expending a lot of time and energy running through the various scenarios in your head, that is as far as you go!
The mental pre-occupation is in itself a good indicator that some action is called for. As a wise person has said, “Whatever you resist, persists.”
If we don’t have the conversations we need to, we can be sure that the relationship over time, will diminish as we withdraw, give up, remain falsely polite or things blow up unexpectedly at the most inopportune moment. And then it is a major.
It is only through having a courageous conversation that we learn about the elasticity, bounce and depth of the relationship.
So you may be wondering, where do I begin?
In the words of Susan Scott, author of Fierce Conversations “While no one conversation is guaranteed to change the trajectory of your career or life, any single conversation can.”
You have more chances of a successful conversation if you put in some thought and consideration beforehand. Planning is a key part of this preparation.
A courageous conversation begins way before you actually have that conversation.
Here are 10 steps that will help you with this process. Continue reading
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